The Iron Clause
by Shi-Toyu
Summary: When Tony Stark has an unexpected collision while out on Christmas Eve he finds himself in a position he never expected to be in. Some in his life are disbelieving and question his sanity. Some accept it with little to no question...and some are DEFINITELY not pleased...Established FrostIron. The Santa Clause spin-off
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

One moment, Tony Stark was flying through the air, suit cutting across the sky like a bullet. The next moment, his entire world was being turned in dizzying circles as he collided with something and warning messages began flashing across his HUD. The impact was devastating, he knew even as his brain felt more like scrambled eggs than the brightest mind of his generation, possibly ever. It was impossible to get his bearings as he, and whatever he had crashed into, tumbled towards the mountain range below in an absolute free fall.

He didn't even have time to think before his back was crashing to a cliff face and he was sliding through the snow until both he and the other debris came to a stop some 500ft away. Groaning, he levered himself up onto his hands and knees, still trying to make heads or tails of the mess on the helmet's screen. He hurt _everywhere_. Even with the suit on, he couldn't help feeling like he'd been tossed around by the Hulk.

"Ugh…JARV! What the Hell did I just hit?"

JARVIS was supposed to keep him well away from any other…anythings. It didn't matter if it was a plane, a helicopter, or a God-damned flock of geese, it shouldn't have been something Tony encountered. Dammit, he hoped this wasn't some newly-developed drone for some such from the military. They'd probably try and use the crash as an excuse to get Tony making weapons for them again.

All he'd wanted was to get Pepper those Swiss chocolates she loved so much before Christmas. He'd figured, sure, why not? Throw on the suit and pop on over! It can cross the ocean in only a couple hours. Loki hadn't been pleased to learn he'd be spending Christmas Eve alone in their bed, but Tony knew he could make it up to the god. Loki knew how Tony felt about Christmas

"Apologies, Sir. Nothing has appeared on any of the scanners."

And…okay. That was _weird_. JARVIS's sensors picked up everything, even things that were supposedly 'cloaked', and if Tony was hearing him right he still couldn't detect anything. Guess it was time to figure this one out the old fashioned way. He pushed himself unsteadily to his feet, the Iron Man armor protesting almost as much as his muscles at the forced movement. The snow around him was a mess like something large had crashed into it, but there was a suspicious lack of debris. Tony frowned.

"What the Hell?"

He'd felt the impact. He was _still_ feeling the impact. There was no way there couldn't be debris. He whirled around to look behind himself. About ten feet away, there was something sticking out of the snow. Tony attempted a step forward, but the suit's piece ground together in protest. Damn. Loki was going to kill him if he didn't make it back by Christmas morning…

"JARVIS, get me out of this suit."

"Sir, I am not sure it would be wise to-"

"Not right now, J! I can't move in this thing! I'm a sitting duck anyway. I at least want to know what the fuck is going on."

Tony was pretty sure JARVIS would have sighed if he were able to.

"Very well, Sir."

The suit wasn't able to peel all the way off, but Tony managed to scramble out of what was left of it. He immediately headed towards the only evidence that he'd even been in a mid-air collision. The first thing he noticed was the boots, black and heavy leather with fine silver buckles. Oh, God…he'd hit some poor fucking mountain man when he'd crashed, some innocent bystander. Great, another death to add to his list.

He trudged closer, the frigid air nipping at his skin. He hoped he got frostbite. He deserved it. Tony hated the blood that drenched his hands. The least he could do was figure out this person's identity and inform his family, promise to take care of them financially for the rest of their lives. He dropped to his knees beside the pile of snow and started digging with his hands.

The man he uncovered was dressed in a red suit with delicate embroideries and a white fur trim. He was a large man, more fat than bulked up, and his hair was as white as his beard. Holy fuck…Tony had run over a guy who not only _looked_ like Santa Claus, but dressed like him. The press was going to have a field day.

"Alright…let's see if you have any identification on you…"

The first place Tony checked was the large pockets on the front of the man's jackets and, miraculously, came up with a card. It was made of heavy paper, extremely good quality, and the name was embossed in an elegant, black script. 'Santa Claus. North Pole.'

"Oh, you've _got_ to be kidding me."

He flipped the card over, hoping to find some other clue to the man's identity. Instead, he found instructions. 'If something should happen to me, put on my suit. The reindeer will know what to do.' A slim red border ran around the edge of the card, but Tony couldn't even be bothered to pay attention to it.

"Reindeer?"

There was a jingle from behind him and Tony whirled around, hands coming out as though to aim the repulsors. They stayed in place out of habit even as his jaw dropped. Eight honest-to-God reindeer stood not ten feet away, snorting and pawing at the snow. A brilliant red sleigh was hooked up behind them. Tony squeezed his eyes shut before blinking them open again. The reindeer were still there. So was the sleigh.

"I'm losing my mind…"

Almost on autopilot, he turned back to look at the man he'd hit…only to find him gone. Only his suit and boots lay in the snow where he had been.

"Oh, God…now he's running around naked…"

But there was no evidence of movement in the surrounding snow…not to mention that there was no possible way that the man could have gotten out of his clothes and out of the area in the few seconds Tony had his back turned. It wasn't logical…

"Oh, this is not happening. This can_not_ be happening…"

Tony trudged back and forth through the snow, eyes darting back and forth between the abandoned clothes on the ground and the reindeer not far away. He'd all but forgotten about the cold, too busy losing his mind and having mad hallucinations.

"Santa Claus…Santa Claus isn't _real!_"

He barked in laughter and dragged a hand through his hair. His gaze lingered on the clothes that were laid out in the snow and a truly insane thought wormed its way into his head. If he thought about it…it really could be…couldn't it?

After all, he did have a Norse god waiting for him in his bed and another one living just a few floors below him. Tony had heard enough rants by that goofball Strange to be fully convinced that magic existed in many forms…so why not this one? Why not as the legend of Santa Claus come to life?

But is that were the case…if Santa were actually a real thing…then maybe that card wasn't just fooling around. He absently turned the rectangle of paper over in his fingers, more to have something to do than to actually get a better look at it.

'If something should happen to me, put on my suit. The reindeer will know what to do.'

Well, shit.

He'd probably been in the middle of delivering toys when Tony had taken him out of the air. It was barely past midnight. Santa probably hadn't had the chance yet to get to at least half the children in the world. That would mean a lot of disappointed children in the morning if someone didn't do something.

Cautiously, hardly believing he was actually thinking about this, Tony lifted the pants from the ground. A voice that sounded an awful lot like Natasha whispered in the back of his head about how this could be a trap, a trick by some villain. But Tony couldn't see what the point of it would be if it were. It seemed far too elaborate for something so simple as a kidnapping or trying to kill him. He was already out in the open, exposed and vulnerable without his suit. Surely an enemy would have already made their move by now.

What did he really have to lose, anyway? If it turned out that this really was some elaborate hoax and Tony wound up held hostage or taken prisoner by some supervillain then he'd find his way out. He always did. Or Loki would come get him. Or the team. He'd be okay.

He looked at the pants that were clutched in his hands, fingering the soft velvet material. A grin began to spread across his face as he thought about it. He was starting to like the sound out it. Tony Stark; genius, billionaire, super hero, _Santa Claus_. It'd be okay for just one night…what was the worst that could happen?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

No doubt about it, Tony was having the absolute best night of his life. Being Santa was _awesome_. Seriously. He was glad the first time he and Loki had sex was in the afternoon, otherwise he'd have to make a choice between the two and he wasn't sure he could. (Which was saying something, considering how absolutely _mind-blowing_ sex with Loki was, even still.)

Tony had always found Loki's magic to be fascinating, even if it was frustrating at times not to be able to understand or replicate it. But the magic he had encountered over the course of the night had been on a whole different level. It was fascinating and it sent the engineer in Tony into an absolute spiral. It seemed to act completely without prompting, like it had a life of its own.

The reindeer really had known what to do. As soon as Tony had the suit on and was in the sleigh, bringing the Iron Man armor with him because there was no way he was leaving it behind, they had taken off and set their very own flight path. The red bag that had been in the back of the sleigh filled with toys at each house, which thankfully saved Tony from having to guess as to which presents went where. And it flew! The bag lifted him off his feet at each and every house to deposit him down the chimney!

Admittedly, he'd been a bit worried at the first house that didn't actually have a chimney, but apparently Christmas Magic had that covered, too. A fireplace was quite literally _created_ at any house he'd been to that didn't already have one. And he got milk and cookies! It was like paradise! There was a little girl he'd spent about an hour talking to before he started actually worrying about the time and told her to go back to sleep. She'd been remarkably well behaved for a kid, he thought, and he'd honestly enjoyed the experience.

But the sun was starting to rise on the horizon and he was pretty sure he'd actually managed to get to all of the houses. He had developed a theory about half-way through the night that there was some kind of time warp involved in the traveling. Otherwise there was no way he would have managed to get it all done. He'd even managed to stop off and get some of that chocolate for Pepper that he'd originally left for.

He felt like he'd done a pretty good job with the whole thing, too. Maybe not perfect, there _had_ been that slight mishap with the canoe, but he'd just been surprised by the weight. Plus, he'd totally put their tree back up and only half the ornaments were broken. They'd probably never even notice. Putting the incident from his mind, Tony picked up the reigns of the sleigh.

"Alright, boys…you mind taking me home?"

The reindeer banked left and Tony laughed into the wind. This was _totally_ worth the trouble he was no doubt going to get in with Loki for not being there when the sun came up. He'd make it up to the God, anyway. He already knew that the way to Loki's heart was best traveled on his own knees. Surely Tony would be able to come up with something.

He ended up dozing off a bit during the ride, which wasn't all that surprising. He'd been up all night, after all. A jerking of the sleigh brought him back to being fully awake, though, and he blinked a few times as he looked around. The land was entirely covered in snow, not a single building or light to be seen. It looked completely barren. There was a tinkling of chains and he whirled around to find the reindeer had come unhitched and were trotting off behind a snow drift.

"H-hey! Wait!"

Great. That's what he got for trusting in a bunch of magical animals. He cast a nervous glance at the back of the sleigh where the Iron Man suit still was. Maybe if he scrapped some of the weapons wiring he'd be able to get the flight function working again long enough to get home…At the very least he could find out where in the world he'd ended up.

Movement caught his attention out of the corner of his eye and he suddenly found himself looking at a kid who couldn't have been more than ten. What the Hell was he doing out here? The boy just looked at Tony for a second before moving across the snow to pull up what looked like a red and white stripped pole with a white globe on top. A small keypad slid out of the side and the kid punched in a short code.

Tony nearly fell over when the ground underneath the sleigh started to sink downward. He grasped the edge of the red contraption in a near-panic and stared in wonder as an underground cavern was revealed. There was an entire society hidden away! The figures bustling around seemed to all stop and stare as he and the sleigh descended. As he drew closer, he noticed they all looked like kids, too…but now he was noticing the fact that their ears were pointed.

"Oh, my God…I'm in the North Pole…"

He didn't even wait for the platform to fully reach the ground before he jumped out of the sleigh and headed towards the nearest elf.

"Hey, hey! Excuse me! Who's in charge here?"

The girl had blonde hair swept up in some kind of bun and was carrying a basket of carrots. She gave him a look like he was an absolute idiot and _ouch_. Okay, he was not used to that.

"_You_ are."

She turned as if to go, but Tony grabbed her shoulder.

"Seriously. I've got to speak to whoever is in charge. I'm kind of on a time crunch here."

Because, yes, Tony was standing in the middle of the North Pole and that was _fucking awesome_ and he would saw off his own leg for a glimpse of Santa's workshop, but he also had a temperamental Norse God waiting for him at home and he really didn't want to make him any more upset than he no doubt already was. Tony still remembered what had happened to the last group who'd managed to kidnap him since he and Loki had gotten together. He _really _didn't want that to happen here. The girl was still just giving him that damn _look_ though.

"I already told you! You are!"

"No, I mean like…" he cast around for the right words to use. "Who's the Head Elf, kid?"

She rolled her eyes before letting them settle back into a glare.

"I'm not a kid. I've got pointy shoes that are older than you."

"Hey! What's going on here?"

Both Tony and the girl looked up to see a young man striding towards them with black hair that was in tiny braids and a scowl on his face. He had a clip board under one arm and at least six different bags tied to his waist. His ornately embroidered red shirt had billowing sleeves and looked a bit nicer in quality than what everyone else was wearing. Tony was just glad to see someone who looked above the age of sixteen. The girl next to him huffed.

"He started it!"

Tony gaped at her before whipping back to look at the young man.

"I did _not_!"

The guy didn't even want to hear it.

"And what do you think this is? A coffee break? Why aren't you working?"

His question was aimed pointedly at the girl and she gave him the same eye roll she'd given Tony.

"We don't _drink_ coffee."

"That I guess the break is over, isn't it? Back to work." He dismissed her with a wave and turned to Tony instead. "I'm Bernard. Nice to meetcha, Santa."

It didn't sound like he thought it was very nice. Bernard turned away before Tony could even respond, though, and was already striding way. Tony scrambled to catch up. The upside of being in the North Pole, he noted absently, was that at least he was finally the tallest person in the room.

"Hey, listen, are you in charge here?"

Bernard barely cast him a sideways glance.

"The other Santa disappeared, right?"

Tony drew up short, bringing Bernard to a halt with him.

"How did you know the other guy was gone?"

Bernard gave him a pat on the shoulder before turning and starting to walk again.

"Follow me if you want out of those clothes."

They passed into a room almost as cavernous as the first one they'd been in, but this one was filled with elves making toys. Tony was briefly sidetracked by the sight of what was going on around him. It was horrifying! Trains, dollhouses, robots, stuffed animals…all being made by _hand_! Hadn't they ever heard of the production line? Any modern marvel over the last fifty years? He barely even managed to hear Bernard's next words.

"You put on the suit, right? That makes _you_ the new Santa Claus."

His head whipped around like he'd been slapped.

"What? You mean, like, _the_ Santa Claus? I'm not just a stand in for the night?"

Bernard popped up a short flight of stairs to grab a large cookie and bring it back down. He handed it over to Tony without comment and, despite all of the cookies he'd already managed to eat that night, Tony took it.

"You read the card, right? By putting on the pants and jacket, you accepted the contract."

Tony froze mid-chew.

"What contract?"

"The card in the Santa suit. By reading it and donning the clothes, you fell subject to the Santa Clause."

"The Santa Claus? You mean that guy I ran into?"

Bernard was walking away again and Tony was starting to find it very, very annoying.

"No, no, no. Not Santa Claus the person, Santa Clause the _clause_."

"What?"

Bernard looked utterly exasperated.

"Look, you're a business man, right? A clause as in the last line of a contract."

Tony just stared at him, his brain working in over time to catch up with these new developments. He could feel the first beginnings of dread curling in his stomach. He had a bad feeling about where this was headed.

"So what exactly does that mean? For me?"

"You've got the card, right?"

Tony quickly pulled it from his pocket and passed it over, hoping against hope to resolve this quickly and without incident. Maybe this was all just a misunderstanding. Bernard moved the last couple of steps and held the card out under a magnifier, one of the huge industrial kind used by jewelers. Tony squinted through the glass in confusion before realizing that the tiny red border was actually made up of words. Besides him, Bernard continued to talk.

"Alright, The Santa Clause. 'By putting on this suit and entering the sleigh, the wearer waves any and all rights to any previous identity, real or implied, and fully accepts the duties and responsibilities of Santa Claus to perpetuity until such time as the wearer becomes unable to do so by either accident or design.'"

Tony could only blink, for the first time in his life, not comprehending what was going on around him.

"What?"

Bernard looked like he wanted to strangle him.

"It means you put of the suit, you're the big guy."

Tony was just shaking his head, leaning against a nearby countertop.

"When can I leave this place?"

For the first time, Barnard looked like he might actually feel a touch of sympathy. His voice was still stern when he spoke, though.

"You leave tomorrow morning. You have eleven months to get your affairs in order and you're due back here Thanksgiving."

Tony immediately threw a hand up, shaking his head.

"_I'll ship the List to your house._" Bernard all but growled and that, it seemed, was that.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Tony awoke to cool lips trailing kisses along the back of his neck. He settled back against a familiar chest with a hum of appreciation and felt said chest move as Loki chuckled softly in his ear. In his half-awake state, Tony couldn't even find it in him to be annoyed that he was so clearly being laughed at. The bed shifted as Loki leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.

"Either I was exceptionally tired last night or your stealth skills have improved quite dramatically. I never even heard you come to bed."

Tony's lips twitched upward in a grin.

"What can I say, babe? It was magic."

Loki scoffed behind him. Tony had been using that excuse since they'd first gotten together, but he knew Loki secretly found it just as amusing as he did.

"Let me guess, Christmas magic? Did you at least get the chocolates for Ms. Potts?"

Like a shock to his system, Tony's brain finally kicked into gear as the night before came rushing back to him. He shot up into a sitting position, Loki making a startled noise at the sudden movement. He remembered the crash, the suit, the sleigh, the gifts, the North Pole, Bernard, _the clause._

"Anthony?"

Loki's voice was concerned and a long fingered hand curled around his shoulder. Tony glanced down at it and noticed for the first time that he was wearing some red, silk pajama get up. The button up top was embroidered with the initials S.C. right over his heart. He remembered it distinctly from when the female elf had brought it to him in the North Pole the night before along with a steaming mug of hot cocoa that had knocked him out like a sleeping pill.

As soon as his brain connected the dots Tony was up again, scrambling to get out of the bed so fast that he got tangled in the sheet and fell out instead. He found his feet again after only a moment and popped up like he was in a whack-a-mole game. Unintelligible babble spilled out of his mouth as he beat at the shirt like he could make it disappear. Suddenly a wide-eyed Loki was in front of him, taking hold of his hands and stopping his self-beating.

"Anthony, look at me. I need you to breathe. Can you do that for me?"

System still flooded with panic, Tony's eyes flickered up to meet Loki's. He breathed in shakily before letting it out. Loki smiled at him softly while he guided the mortal back to sit on the bed. They sat there for several long moments as Tony tried to re-adjust and Loki stroked soothing circles into his back. Tony leaned into his boyfriend, savoring the comfort Loki provided.

"How can-" Tony had to stop and clear his throat before trying again. "How can you be so calm about this?"

Loki made a small noise of confusion, nudging him towards expounding upon his question. Tony couldn't imagine where that confusion could have come from.

"Loki…I've been missing for over a day."

The hand on his back froze and Tony moved away just enough so that he could comfortably look Loki in the face. Loki _looked_ confused, but he also had that look on his face that said he was going to figure out whatever problem he was facing and make it his bitch.

"Tell me what day it is, Anthony."

The inventor's brows drew together.

"The 26th."

Loki was nodding in thought.

"JARVIS? The date, if you will."

"Today is the 25th of December, Sirs, Christmas day. May I be the first to wish you both a Merry Christmas on this happy holiday."

Tony wanted to say that was impossible. He'd left on Christmas Eve, been gone all night, and spent the next day in the North Pole arguing with Bernard before going to bed _still in the North Pole_. He didn't have any recollection of coming home at all, but that was by far the least crazy part of the situation. He groaned pitiably and let his face drop into his hands.

"I fucking _hate_ magic."

He didn't need to see Loki's face to know he was arching one delicate eyebrow. The hand on his back moved up to gently massage his neck, blunt nails scratching lightly at his hair line.

"Are you hurt?"

Trust Loki to get right to the point of the matter. Tony wanted to lean into him again, to curl up back in bed and pretend like nothing happened. Instead he pushed himself back to standing and headed for the closet. At the very least, he can get out of these pajamas. He dropped a kiss on Loki's lips as he stood.

"No. I'm not hurt. I just had a really bad experience," his face scrunches up in thought, "last night, I guess."

He stripped out of the pajamas and shoved them back into the far reaches of the walk-in closet, hoping they'll get lost there. Loki had moved to lean against the doorway, arms crossed over his bare chest and hair falling across his shoulders. His eyes were tracking Tony through his movements like a worried mother hen.

"What kind of experience? And know before you answer that if I have to keep dragging every detail out of you then I won't be pleased."

Tony sighed heavily, pulling on a pair of old jeans that were a bit too baggy but undeniably comfortable. No one but the team was going to see him today anyway. He pulled a black tank top on over his head before turning back to his lover.

"When I was on the way to get those chocolates for Pep I crashed into something midair. I had no idea what it was. JARVIS couldn't pick it up on his scanners." Something clicked in his head and his eyes immediately darted upwards. "J? Where's the suit?"

He'd left it in the sleigh. Was it still in the North Pole?

"All current models of the Iron Man armor have been put away in the lab, Sir. The armor from last night is laid out on a work table to await repairs."

A huge weight slid off his shoulders. The suits were precious to him, but they were also highly dangerous in the wrong hands. It wasn't that he thought the elves would use it for something nefarious; it just gave him more peace of mind to have it with him. Loki was eying him suspiciously.

"Exactly how bad was this crash?"

His tone promised trouble if Tony even so much as _thought_ about lying to him.

"I won't know just how extensive the damage was until I'm able to actually take a look in the lab, but it was pretty bad. We both ended up crashing into the ground after the collision with each other."

"We?"

Tony swallowed nervously, knowing this was the part that was going to make him sound totally crazy.

"I crashed into Santa."

So Tony told him the whole story, about how the man had vanished and Tony had put on the suit, how he'd gone around delivering presents and would up at the North Pole. He told Loki about Bernard and the little she-elf (Julie? Katherine? Patricia? Something like that.) and about the clause that demanded he give up his current identity to become the new Santa. He avoided looking at Loki through most of it but let his eyes wander back shyly at the end of his tale.

Against all expectations, Loki was smiling at him. It wasn't a grin that said he thought Tony was joking. It was an actual smile, soft and full of so much affection that Tony could only gape at him. Loki crossed the space of the closet in only two steps and bent slightly to press a kiss to the top of Tony head.

"It seems you have had quite the night. Let us enjoy this Christmas with your team, as you have talked of nothing else all month. We can deal with this situation tomorrow, though I'm going to have to ask you not to go out again tonight. I'd hate to hear what _else_ you managed to get yourself into."

If Tony had been gaping before, there weren't words to describe how shocked he was now.

"That's it? That's all you're gonna say?"

Loki chuckled.

"Oh, we'll have much to talk about later on…but that is all for now. Let's just enjoy the holiday, shall we? I'm sure your teammates are already waiting for us."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

It took the team all of two seconds to figure out that something wasn't right with Tony, and even less time for Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy. Rhodey's mom, who'd been coming for every holiday celebration since Tony'd stopped attending them at her house, had taken one look at him and headed for the kitchen.

"I'll heat up some of the apple crumble from last night, sweetheart. You take a seat."

Thankfully, nobody actually asked what was wrong, but that probably had more to do with Loki's glaring than a lack of curiosity. Even Thor seemed to get the message. Christmas proceeded with all the same traditions it always had, with Mrs. Rhodes at the helm. In fact, Tony even managed to almost forget about his new, magical predicament until Pepper unwrapped the very box of chocolates he'd left to get her.

"Oh, Tony! I haven't had these in ages! You spoil me!"

He hugged her back automatically, trying not to let on just how shaken seeing the gift had left him. Loki shared a look with him over his CEO's shoulder, but said nothing. By the time lunch rolled around, Tony was exhausted. Just in an effort to get away for a bit and collect himself, he excused himself from the table under the premise of refilling his glass.

"I'd assume," Natasha's voice from behind made him nearly jump out of his skin, "that there wasn't an immediate threat, since you haven't told us what's going on, but I think we both know that wouldn't be the truth. You'd just try and handle it by yourself."

"_Jesus_, Nat. Give a guy a little warning!"

She moved from her place in the doorway to stand next to him, laying one hand on his elbow and expression actually concerned.

"We're a team, Tony, and we're here to help each other. One of these days you're going to have to get that through your thick skull. So if you need anything, we're here."

Tony's fingers tightened around his glass.

"You're not going to ask what's going on?"

She shook her head, making her curls sway just a bit. She'd done herself up in the name of the season. It was weird, to Tony, who always named Christmas as a day to stay in PJ's and not brush your hair.

"I won't push you. You have to learn to trust us on your own."

The genius's eyes dropped to the countertop in guilt. His fingers twitched with the urge to fiddle with something.

"I do trust you guys."

It came off softly, more pitiful that he would have liked. He cursed himself mentally, knowing that of anyone on the team, Natasha would be the one to pick every little nuance apart. Just those five little words and she'd probably know the name of that elf that'd brought him the hot chocolate…the one _he_ couldn't remember the name of. The assassin patted his arm before retreating back into her own bubble.

"Just…we're here for you, Tony."

She turned and left the kitchen before he had a chance to respond, leaving Tony feeling even more miserable than before. Pepper's laugh carried in from the other room and he just suddenly felt like everything was closing in. He couldn't go back out there and smile, pretending everything was alright. The genius left his glass on the counter as he ran away to his workshop.

That was where Loki found him almost an hour later. Tony was collapsed over a table, chin resting on his folded arms, and was staring blankly at a snow globe that he remembered being handed the night before. Loki stood silently beside him and began carding his fingers through Tony's hair.

"Bernard gave it to me. I'm pretty sure it's magic."

Loki reached out to pluck the globe off the table and turn it over in his hands.

"Bernard?"

"He's the Head Elf, apparently. He told me about the clause."

"And you're interrupting the only break I get all year. This had better be good."

Tony really wasn't sure his heart could take all the stress of having people pop up around him at random. Bernard himself appeared perfectly at home lounging on Tony's lab couch, chowing down on an apple. Loki was instantly on guard, pressing close to Tony's side as if to shield him.

"You are the one responsible for Anthony's curse?"

Bernard looked utterly unimpressed at the god's animosity.

"First of all, not a curse. Second of all, he's the one who put on the suit. Don't blame me…Who're you, anyway? The globe's not supposed to summon me when other people are around, but when the big man calls…"

Loki growled at the elf's flippant nonchalance.

"I am Loki, God of Mischief and Fire, born of Jotunheim and raised of Asgard. I am known as Silvertongue, Lie-smith, and Scarlip. My power is feared throughout the Nine Realms and no enemy has ever escaped my wrath. I am a king slayer and once nearly destroyed an entire realm one my own. It would be good advice to not raise my ire, elf."

Bernard looked unimpressed.

"Yeah, great title. Excellent delivery. Why did you summon me?"

Tony was about to protest that he _hadn't_ when his eyes fell back to the snow globe on his table.

"This summons you? How?"

"You mean you summoned me on _accident_?"

"Technically, Loki did. He was the one messing with it."

Bernard's glare instantly snapped from Tony to Loki, which was actually pretty interesting since the god was glaring icily right back. Bernard looked him up and down.

"The two of you wouldn't happen to be together, would you? Romantically, I mean."

"Ummm…yes?" Tony replied hesitantly.

The elf groaned and wiped a hand over his face. He stayed like that for a few moments before throwing his hands up in the air.

"You know what? No. I'm not dealing with this. I am on _vacation_ and this is not my problem right now." He stood up clearly still in a huff and pointed an accusatory finger in their direction. "I'll send Curtis by to figure everything out. _After_ my vacation."

And then he was gone, vanished into thin air. Tony wanted to hit his head repeatedly against the closest hard surface.

"Well, that's explained exactly nothing at all."

Loki snatched up the snow globe, very clearly still angered.

"You brought back this and the pajamas," he all but hissed, "was there anything else?"

"Uh…Pep's chocolates, I think. I don't know if those count."

Loki nodded stiffly and whirled around to stalk toward the lab's entrance. Tony scrambled to follow him.

"Where are you going?"

"To retrieve the items you brought back. I must examine this magic if I am to break its hold on you…" He turned back around and pulled Tony close, surprising the genius and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I will fix this, Anthony. I swear it."

"I know," Tony said, even though a part of him wasn't sure he _wanted_ to completely give this up, "I trust you."

Loki gazed at him for a long moment before turning to head off again. Tony watched him go with a feeling of heaviness settling in his chest. He felt like this was all his fault, for crashing that night, for putting on that damned suit. Why did his life always have to be so complicated?


End file.
